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[Wednesday
June 22nd, 2005 at 4:21pm]
new livejournal :)= new start. add it!! <3
styrofoamplate_styrofoamplate_styrofoamplate_styrofoamplate_
when I look at you, I squint ( 1 )You're that beautiful

[Monday
June 20th, 2005 at 2:30pm]
dude. my birthday is in 6 days. =].
when I look at you, I squint ( 10 )You're that beautiful

[Thursday
June 16th, 2005 at 3:24pm]
summer so far has been altogether pretty good. not much going around here but ive been meeting a lot of people and there have been those nights. hopefully it gets warmer out soon though. then it will truely feel like summer.. other than that i am carefree and relaxed. truely amazing. i dont have much to update about but the last couple of nights have been a blur. ill post picture later. my bday is in 10 days. have a fun summer
callif youd like to hang out.
672 2792


much love
when I look at you, I squint ( 4 )You're that beautiful

[Thursday
June 9th, 2005 at 9:46pm]
GAH..

in approximatly 12 and a half hours.
my life will begin again. i will be complete.
ahhh i just live for summer

sumersumersummersummersummersummersummer. i just cant beleive how fast this years gone by.


ahh!ahhdsjfskldjfskdljf~!! i want to fucking take off my clothes and run around and scraem and dance and sing and go crazy. but ill contain myself for another 12 and a half hours.

im just fucking happy that this is my last day of stress, dumb boys, caring way to much, worrying about waking up early after getting 2 hours of sleep.

just think: bonfires, parties, late night walks, summer stars and moon, summer skys, tans, boys, drinking, shady parks, driving around, walking around, all the changes, the beautiful colors. GAHH

and ilove my friends. every fucking one of you. wether weve said two words this whole year, or weve hung out, or weve been together pracitcally every day. i fucking love you

x.Xx.
when I look at you, I squint ( 8 )You're that beautiful

[Saturday
June 4th, 2005 at 6:17pm]
taking on seven years..Collapse )
when I look at you, I squint ( 11 )You're that beautiful

[Tuesday
May 31st, 2005 at 2:37pm]
this weekend was a lotta fun. <3
on friday i went to the fair wit steph and some other people. we ended up meeting up with alexa n stacey.. and IAN and sam and avery were there. hah i havent seen those kids in forever. and i also saw meliss nicole leah and joey and 938438438434x other people like joe and corben. so random. anyways after the fair we went to ians house and we chilled there. saturday morning we all woke up got bagels chilled around..
saturday night me meliss steph and danielle went to the fair again and met up with a whole buncha people. HOLY shit the music express was effen scary. ahahha im sorry for hurting you meliss? and those guys on the tilta whirl were lil perverts. later we went to melissas and has some people over.

last night was the 89x concert. it was really great. i got to see a whole bunch of really good bands.
[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<acceptance,>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

this weekend was a lotta fun. <3
on friday i went to the fair wit steph and some other people. we ended up meeting up with alexa n stacey.. and IAN and sam and avery were there. hah i havent seen those kids in forever. and i also saw meliss nicole leah and joey and 938438438434x other people like joe and corben. so random. anyways after the fair we went to ians house and we chilled there. saturday morning we all woke up got bagels chilled around..
saturday night me meliss steph and danielle went to the fair again and met up with a whole buncha people. HOLY shit the music express was effen scary. ahahha im sorry for hurting you meliss? and those guys on the tilta whirl were lil perverts. later we went to melissas and has some people over.

last night was the 89x concert. it was really great. i got to see a whole bunch of really good bands. <acceptance, motion city soundtrack, hot hot heat, louis IIV, z-trip, a static lullaby, social distortion, boys night out, and like 2 others but i cant think of the names.. >> i got trampled on a couple thousand times though and me n melissa got beer spilt all over us. >:O. whatever thoug hah. there were a lot of really cool people there too, and som really scary hahaha. like the drunken girl and the 984 year old who kept coming closer and closer.

well ive already written way to much about nothing. summer is soo soon. im really exctied its going to amazingg jfjfkdf.

love you
when I look at you, I squint ( 5 )You're that beautiful

[Thursday
May 26th, 2005 at 8:57pm]
dyeing hair.

darker or lighter. pleasee give me suggestions and ill LOVE you forever :]!!
when I look at you, I squint ( 13 )You're that beautiful

[Monday
May 23rd, 2005 at 8:36pm]

we are satisfied from monday til friday and on sunday we cryCollapse )
when I look at you, I squint ( 9 )You're that beautiful

[Saturday
May 21st, 2005 at 12:17pm]
yesterday was alexas bday!! <3. we went to fountain walk. buffalo wild wings. and like 9348349834834x people were there. but it was fun catching up with everyone. me bea alexa n melissa had a contesst. bea was on my team and we WON :-D. ahah CONTEST WEEK . its gonna be fun this week 8-). were soo cool. then we went back to alexas n chilled for a while. today were all going to the mall. then i duno what. hmm

whats everybody up to tonight?


lovee you
when I look at you, I squint ( 2 )You're that beautiful

[Tuesday
May 17th, 2005 at 7:14pm]
The phone slips from a loose grip.
Words were missed then some apology
like I didn’t want to tell you this
it’s just some guys she has been hanging out with
oh I don’t know the past couple of weeks I guess.



progress reports came. how gay. today was the shittiest day in a while. i feel very sick and i have felt sick all day. im failing just about every class.. my mom wants me out of the house, god sometimes i just cant stand her. i hate the fact that i cant take more than a minute around her without getting angry or sad, but we just dont mix well. she doenst understand anything, all she does is yell, and it just makes me feel so damn bad, she loves it though. its funny too because as she yells pretending shes all worried about me, i see that smirk she was trying hard to cover.

im surprised that im still here, but my dad just says to work things out. he called the dr and my school to get me "help". wtf. hokay. lol i love how my parents think they understand. they dont. thank god summer is coming because i cant take north fucking farmington another second. i hate the fact that this entry sounds so depressing. thats just how i feel at the moment. im just so filled up with anger, i dont know what to take it out on. i really wish i had somebody to talk to right now instaed of just blurting my feelings onto *live* journal. i probably shouldnt even be posting half of this. i just need to write. write write write, it just makes me feel so much better, getting everything out of my head, every pretty much detail, instead of bottleing it up inside.
i had lax today, but i was late. its been a while, the season is just about over. my boyfriend situation isnt going to well either. cant seem to hold onto a guy. hold on to a guy? wtf am i saying, i cant even find anybody im half interested in.. im sure i could but maybe im just not really looking.. AGh
alrigth well im done for now, hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

xhh xo love you


Thank you and hang up the phone.
Let the funeral start.
Hear the casket close.
Let’s pin split-black ribbon onto your overcoat.
Still laughter pours from under doors in this house.
I don’t understand that sound no more.
It seems artificial like a T.V. set.
when I look at you, I squint ( 5 )You're that beautiful

[Monday
May 16th, 2005 at 2:46pm]
so this weekend was a lot of fun.
friday i hung out wit meliss sam n leah. we saw amiville horror. very good i must say. then we played in the rain, and took randoom picturess. ahah
saturday i hung out wit meliss sam leah nicole alexa aaron n evan.. we went to jasons party then we went over my house. which was kind ov boring and i was paranoid and pms to the extreme. we went to the park and chilled around which it was very cold and wet. yucky. yeah i was a bitch im sorry :[. haha.

then later alexa slept over n we hung out wit joe and ben and went to meijors and jasons party. ahah everybody was passed out there. then we chilld @ joes and watched harold and kumar and alexa paitned a pretty sunset.

im really glad ive been hanging out with more girls lately.. and ive been meeting so many different people who i LOVE. i dont know things are going really good for me lately.

anyways sunday was fun too. i went to royal oak with my mom and got a cd and a book. and i love both because im just a loser like that. 8-). then i got dropped off at melissas. we learned are abc's. muahahahah. and then her family <3 came over for jasons and andis bday dinner!! i am in love with her family. it was just so great watching them play kareoke. haha it really made me feel like at home they were all singing together and dancing and laughing. i raelly loved it. then me n melissa did homework and fell asleep.

so now its monday which is yucky. whatever t hough. i guess thast all i have to say.
<3 love you
when I look at you, I squint ( 3 )You're that beautiful

[Wednesday
May 11th, 2005 at 9:06pm]
POST ANONYMOUSLY:!!
say whatever you about me..
things you hate about me
things you like about me
things you cant say to my face
absolutely anything that you desire. 8-).


ahh pleasee do this!! ahah. :-D
btw murphy i stole this from you if you didnt realize
when I look at you, I squint ( 13 )You're that beautiful

[Tuesday
May 10th, 2005 at 7:33pm]
today was just beautiful outside.
that makes me very happy. it smells like summer. and im hella excited for that to come. OOO :-D

i ate ver good today then i come home from lax and i ate everything in site. AHH. this time of the month = gay. ahahah. uhm school has been easy. but ive been failing basically everything. senioritis. and im only a freshman? hm not good.

i think
i have a crush
:-[.

just a crush though. it probably wont go any further.

whho you ask?! MUAHhaha youll never know. i love the thought of having something of mine to keep. yeah uhh


the new weezer album came out today. im def gonna hve to get it since im listening to it and its veryy good.

this is sad i have absolutley nothing to talk about, and im filling up this page with random thoughts off the top of my head..
no thoughts in head. i guess its not as bad as i make it out to seem. but then i just feel so boring.

im raedng smack again. thts my favorite book it sreiosly taught me so much about everything.


everything is free. thats a secret. the only thing that isnt is you
when I look at you, I squint ( 13 )You're that beautiful

[Monday
May 9th, 2005 at 4:05pm]
what i honestly think.

i think that people are disgusting. how or why could you talk so much shit about somebody whose supposdly one of your best friends. i mean when im with my close friends, our topic of conversation is never how much we cant stand somebody. most people would say thats all there is to talk about, but cmon really. its not.. honestly it disgusts me how you consider each other close friends. a close friend doesnt talk shit. its insecurity. its jealousy. thats all that is. well as much as i love a lot of people, i think they should rethink there decisions.. it could hurt some really good people...

and to my friends. i love you guys so much :]..
when I look at you, I squint ( 12 )You're that beautiful

[Saturday
May 7th, 2005 at 12:10am]
my life started out way to young.
my experiences were one of an adult.
i remember back to childhood.
that childhood didnt really last long.
my mistakes. but what are you to do when you can never go back again?

trying to remember when things got so crazy.
guess i cant really remember when i was sane.
its weird my life flashes before my eyes.
i am just me. thats all i see in myself.
but i am not anything else.
i am not an alcohol drinker
i am not a pot smoker
i am not a slut or whore.
i am just simply carly.
then comes more in depth thoughts.
well i made some mistakes.
but what am i supposed to do about it now,
theres no turning back.

i think my life started out way too young.
i wasnt ready.

i still am not.

i would also enjoy to find a boyfriend. i need to love. and be loved in return. how amazing it would be :]
when I look at you, I squint ( 12 )You're that beautiful

[Tuesday
May 3rd, 2005 at 7:27pm]
[ mood | confused ]

i write in this jounral all the time..
but i never write anything worth reading.. well at least nothing worth reading to me.. when i look back at past entrys.. i used to write how i felt.. well this is how i feel right now..

i feel pretty fucked up.. im happy im sad im bipolar. i dont have feelings and i have strong feelings. its weird my mood seems to change with each new day. one day its life is going by to slow and i just want it to be over. the next is life is going by to fast and im just letting things pass by me. i guess it can be a little bit of both?. depends on your outlook... some days i want people to notice me and somedays i just want to stay in a little corner with my headphones on and write. i like not being noticed sometimes. alone time is good for the soul. sometimes when i think to much i get sad, other times it makes me really hopeful. things feel shitty and i know they always will get better. sometimes. and i know they will always get worse. sometimes. i hate days where i wake up thoughtless.. as time goes on it seems as if thats happening more and more. it hurts like fuck too. like a stab in your heart. some days im a hopeless romantic, and other days i just like to fuck around. some days i like to party, other days i just want to have that person to cuddle with in bed all day.. sometimes i like to get fucked up and other times i hate the fact that people could do that to themselves.. that i could do that to myself.. ive come to realized i have no idea who i really am.. but i guess thats how life can be.. and this is what highschool is for. figuring out who i am, what im good at, what im here for... becaus im here for something i know..



also i wanted to say that there was a car crash today. it made me sad.. scared

when I look at you, I squint ( 17 )You're that beautiful

Glorify, glamorize: Try to forget your sunken eyes [Monday
May 2nd, 2005 at 5:26pm]
Your dead fad is a disaster
Your fashion is my fucking cancer
Not so fun when your nose is sore
Bloody Kleenex all over the floor
But don't worry, who gives a shit?
All your friends will think you're really hip





dear me
stop holding onto the past.
stop trying to recreate memories.
there over.
forever.
thats all there is to it.

the end.
when I look at you, I squint ( 13 )You're that beautiful

This is a .44 caliber love letter straight from my heart [Sunday
May 1st, 2005 at 5:54pm]
[ mood | high ]

Sifting through weathered photo albums
Does it make a difference?
Looking for gloriously aged polaroids
This is the way it is

my weekend has been a lotta fun.. not really in the mood to type anything out but yeah.
today me and my mom went shopping. and didnt fight once.. wow...
i dont have much to say anymore.. my mind is kind of blank.. im happy, and i dont have enough time to think.. i dont really have feelings at the moment..


You think it really would make a difference? Would I hang on the beach in perfect black and hide?
Of places you've never been.
I broke through this hollow shell that once held me so tight I couldn't breathe
A place to accept you don't exist
Come with me, jump off the edge


surveyCollapse )
when I look at you, I squint ( 4 )You're that beautiful

[Tuesday
April 26th, 2005 at 9:34pm]
i want
YOZ!!


happy melissa.
when I look at you, I squint ( 39 )You're that beautiful

[Monday
April 25th, 2005 at 7:53pm]
fun fun weekend

my head is a little soar
but all is well in just a couple of days

and then
next weekend will come
and the next
and the next
then

SUMMER!!
bu dum dum.

yeah school = GAY as hell

and so our these past entrys.
livejournal is really starting to blow.

but no worries i will make it all better =]

boyfriend- where art thou?
how sad. haha.



i never knew a heart existed
outside of make believe <3


well im going to work out now

Pe@ce 8-)
when I look at you, I squint ( 14 )You're that beautiful

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