carbabixo (carbabixo) wrote,

The phone slips from a loose grip.
Words were missed then some apology
like I didn’t want to tell you this
it’s just some guys she has been hanging out with
oh I don’t know the past couple of weeks I guess.

progress reports came. how gay. today was the shittiest day in a while. i feel very sick and i have felt sick all day. im failing just about every class.. my mom wants me out of the house, god sometimes i just cant stand her. i hate the fact that i cant take more than a minute around her without getting angry or sad, but we just dont mix well. she doenst understand anything, all she does is yell, and it just makes me feel so damn bad, she loves it though. its funny too because as she yells pretending shes all worried about me, i see that smirk she was trying hard to cover.

im surprised that im still here, but my dad just says to work things out. he called the dr and my school to get me "help". wtf. hokay. lol i love how my parents think they understand. they dont. thank god summer is coming because i cant take north fucking farmington another second. i hate the fact that this entry sounds so depressing. thats just how i feel at the moment. im just so filled up with anger, i dont know what to take it out on. i really wish i had somebody to talk to right now instaed of just blurting my feelings onto *live* journal. i probably shouldnt even be posting half of this. i just need to write. write write write, it just makes me feel so much better, getting everything out of my head, every pretty much detail, instead of bottleing it up inside.
i had lax today, but i was late. its been a while, the season is just about over. my boyfriend situation isnt going to well either. cant seem to hold onto a guy. hold on to a guy? wtf am i saying, i cant even find anybody im half interested in.. im sure i could but maybe im just not really looking.. AGh
alrigth well im done for now, hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

xhh xo love you

Thank you and hang up the phone.
Let the funeral start.
Hear the casket close.
Let’s pin split-black ribbon onto your overcoat.
Still laughter pours from under doors in this house.
I don’t understand that sound no more.
It seems artificial like a T.V. set.
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